HE

**A year ago this week, we found out that Max was Max (and not Hannah Banana).  He was a he.  It has been so fun to reminisce about the excitement of that news, while hanging out with our little dude.  I knew I had written about the ultrasound but just realized I never published it.  So here is a little blast from the past!!**

December 18, 2012
In just a few seconds, you went from "it" to "he".

It had been a hectic morning...I left work to come home and pick up your dad, who was trying to pull off a million things at once, like usual! (shirt in the dryer for a last-minute meeting...loading the car with random goods to move to our new house later that day...) The poker chip case got knocked over and spilled all over the kitchen, so putting the chips back in order kept me from nagging at him like, "MIKE, lets GO!!" He kept racing around the house and I was on the floor collecting chips while watching the clock.

We sped down the road, knowing that our appointment would be cancelled if we were 15 minutes late, and we would have to wait even LONGER to find out if you were a he, or a she?! Not an option!! As we were driving, your dad looked at me and said, "Its a girl, you know. That's why I made more pink pretzel sticks than blue pretzel sticks." I laughed and said, "Well you know what you just did, you just made him a boy!"

Once inside the ultrasound room, the fun began right away. Images of you moving and bouncing displayed on a large screen, and because our tech knew we wanted to know your gender, it only took her about 5 seconds to exclaim, "This is a little boy!" I was expecting it to be revealed later, after we settled in and checked out other things first. I was so shocked, SO shocked!!! All I could do was laugh and look at your dad.

Instantly, you went from "it" to "he" and it was so natural! "Is that his arm?? Look at his spine!" All of the sudden, you became that much more real to us. All I could think was how excited the men in our families would be. Finally, a BOY! Our tech had a hard time getting certain measurements because you were so wiggly and active, but she did say you had very long arms.  Like a monkey. Seeing you so alive and well and hearing your strong heartbeat made my heart flood with love for you. I couldn't wait to snuggle you and hold your little hand.

When I was younger, I always thought I would want my first born to be a boy. Then, as Brittany started to have her little girls, my mind switched and I thought, I wouldn't even know what to do with a little boy!! But now you are here, you are decided, and I know that we were meant to be your parents. We are so lucky to have you, our little monkey boy!

This picture makes me want to have 45 children.

Dudes napping.

Oh, THIS head??

Well, that sucked

Today, Maxwell started crawling.

And I was at work.

<insert crying cat emoji>

Mike called me to tell me the news, and then offered to FaceTime.  (Thanks, Steve Jobs.)  While he was re-calling me to set up FaceTime, I had to pep talk myself: Don't cry...don't cry...don't cry...

Some people were off serving our country when their baby started crawling!!!
Some people were off fetching clean water for survival when their baby started crawling!!!

But why should I use other peoples' situations to make myself feel better?  That shouldn't make me feel better.

Adult Ashley says - Hey! Snap out of it!  Are you going to spend your entire life being sad or are you going to get over it and just live?

I'm not sure.

Yes to...cyber feuds?!

I think I need to have my internet privileges revoked. 

Lately, I have been ultra annoyed at people who are so willing to troll the internet and leave nasty comments here and there.  No matter what the topic, there is always some basement dweller (I assume) who has nothing better to do than snarl at someone’s attempt to put good into the world.  These trolls are not able to see any good.  They can only find bad and highlight the crap out of it.

So, today, I found myself emerging from the shadows of “anonymous reader” and becoming a “commenter”.  I set out to defend the honor of Yes to Carrots, an amazing beauty product company who was graciously offering $2 products for Cyber Monday.  Their website couldn’t handle all the traffic and no one was able to place an order.  Well shoot, you would have thought Yes to Carrots had sent out a bulletin announcing that they were going to eat your dog for dinner unless you were able to access their website.  Ridiculous comments ensued with pathetic sob stories of how much this was ruining their day.  It was all so absurd!!

I had had enough.  I posted a carefully constructed comment in which I was cautious to not be nitpicky or rude, but to just say, Hey guys we are pretty lucky that online shopping issues are our #1 problem today, let’s give them a break, fa la la la la, la la, la la.  My comment was pretty well received, except for one homegirl who commented back about how annoyed she was about the situation, and how website issues are completely avoidable. 

Then, I joined the troll club.  I shot back at the “annoyed” woman that it was ridiculous to be annoyed by this situation and I hoped she held herself to the same unrealistic standards in her line of work.  My effort to be so P.C. in my first post had gone out the window and now I was involved in a cyber feud.  I clicked POST and I was shaking. 

WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME???

I realize now that I must pause to re-evaluate.  How can I use the internet like a mature adult to conduct the business that I need to conduct, read the news I need to read, find the entertainment content I need to give my brain a rest, all while avoiding the CRAP!?

I need to set some limits.  I need to stop reading comments, in search of trolls to be annoyed at.  There is crap out there to be found, and I need to stop trying to find it.  Because my measly attempts to play cyber defense will never be enough to stop the trolls. 

PS: I also learned that my Facebook settings are set in such a way that my internet feud was being published in many friends' news feeds.  Do you ever get a text that makes your face hot as you read it?  Yeah that was me today. "Hey what is going on with you and this Yes to Carrots deal?"  Errrrr.......  Quick!  Someone transport me to the Land Before Internet!

PPS: I got my Yes to Carrots products for $2 each.  What a steal!