Is it too much to ask...
To request a refund on pistachio shells that are un-crackable?? I have nearly lost a fingernail just to taste the sweet crunch of a pistachio.
To wear my wedding dress to work? Only getting to wear it for one day will just not do. If casual Friday exists, surely there is a way to make formal Wednesdays catch on.
To have it be socially acceptable to pluck my eyebrows anywhere and anytime I feel the need. Under the bright lights in Old Navy. Sitting at my desk. In the car (passenger seat, of COURSE! a wee bit dangerous, but ultimately very rewarding).
To drink wine out of a pint glass. Come on. I know I am going to drink more than one glass. And this way it gets to be a perfectly delicious temperature.
To have my misophonia self-diagnosis taken seriously. If you don't think it's legit, just try chewing around me. Nope, no...I take that back. Please don't.
So is it too much to ask? Is it??
Sunday, May 27, 2012
Kickball and Emotional Outburst(s)
On Wednesday nights I play on an adult kickball league. By play, I mean, a lot of the time we have too many girls so I play duck-duck-goose with all of the children who's parents are much more athletic than I am. This works out well because when I actually do play, I either can't catch the ball (its huge!!!) or throw the ball (and heavy!!!!) or get on base (did I mention you can get out by having the ball thrown at you...wah wah wahhh). All of these elements add to me having an awful attitude and usually saying something like, "I f***ing hate this game!!!!!" or some other awfully dramatic outburst. So, its best that I stay with the children, playing the non-competitive games.
Two weeks was the championship game, which we just so happened to be playing in. My athletic, 1st base all-star sister, had decided she was just pregnant enough that it probably wasn't a good idea to play anymore, so there was a chance I would have to play (must have 4 girls playing at all times). When I got to the field, we learned that 2 of our players were facing evacuation because of a forest fire in their area and they wouldn't be making it to the game either (spoiler alert...they were evacuated, but now they are okay and back in their home. Hooray!!) So, ya better stretch out those hammies, Ashley, cause you be playin' tonight! Oh hell.
Thennnnnn my sister calls...she just got rear-ended. She says they are fine but her girlies are a little shaken up. Well that kicks my over-the-top Aunt Ashey emotions into high gear.
"I can't be here! I have to go to them!" - Ashley
"We don't have enough girls....you have to stay!" - Our captain/my brother-in-law
"I don't even like this game!!" - Ashley (uh-oh...starting to have dramatic outbursts already...)
I finally listen to my voice of reason brother-in-law and we decide it will be okay, so I stay. The team we are playing is ultra-competitive and so is our pitcher. He is playing really aggressively and making them mad...and we are also winning, which is probably making them even more mad. A lot of crap talking is being exchanged. I am super uncomfortable. I try to kick my heart out but I get out over and over again. I wish to the heavens to be born again as an athlete.
My sister still hasn't arrived, so I touch base with my brother-in-law again, and he says she is thinking about going to the hospital just to get the baby checked out. Emotional flare-up....what! She needs us! We have to go to her!! I call her...then text her...finally I get a response that she is going to get checked out later, and is pulling into the parking lot as we speak. All I want to do is give my sweet little nieces some love and assess my sister's emotional state before I get thrown back into the kickball diamond of destruction...as I'm running to the parking lot, my team is headed back to the outfield. I tell them I'll be right back, which is met with, "Get your butt out here right now!!"
Uh oh. Emotional flare-up #9,000.
Fighting back tears (I am a psycho and I know it) I scream as I am running to my fake position in the outfield, "My SISTER was just in a CAR ACCIDENT and she just got here so I was JUST going to CHECK on her and SEE if she was OKAY!!!!!" I think I also said something about being on my period too but that wasn't released with the dragon fury of the rest of the outburst.
Anywayyyyy, when that inning was finally over, my sweet sister had just arrived with her precious babies and they were all fine. I just needed to give them all some love and support, because even though the situation was not that severe, sometimes it just reminds you of how fortunate you are and you just need to let the people you love know how much you care about them. I know that if I was ever rear-ended, pregnant, and with babies in the car, my sister would rush to help in any way she can, but do it in a way that is non-panicky and crazy (I am still working on that). She is just so good like that. And sometimes, just striving to be more like her influences a lot of my actions and reactions.
So back to kickball. We won. Right before we won, I had to pep-talk myself..."Ashley, you're about to win the kickball championship so you better get rid of your bad attitude right meow because you're going to need to celebrate in about 3 seconds..."
And celebrate we did! We drank Coors Light from the Horsetooth Cup trophy. We drank tequila from the Horsetooth Cup trophy. I forgot that I wasn't an athlete and that aggressive/competitive interactions make me highly uncomfortable. We made up with the other team at the league bar afterwards. And it was all good.
Two weeks was the championship game, which we just so happened to be playing in. My athletic, 1st base all-star sister, had decided she was just pregnant enough that it probably wasn't a good idea to play anymore, so there was a chance I would have to play (must have 4 girls playing at all times). When I got to the field, we learned that 2 of our players were facing evacuation because of a forest fire in their area and they wouldn't be making it to the game either (spoiler alert...they were evacuated, but now they are okay and back in their home. Hooray!!) So, ya better stretch out those hammies, Ashley, cause you be playin' tonight! Oh hell.
Thennnnnn my sister calls...she just got rear-ended. She says they are fine but her girlies are a little shaken up. Well that kicks my over-the-top Aunt Ashey emotions into high gear.
"I can't be here! I have to go to them!" - Ashley
"We don't have enough girls....you have to stay!" - Our captain/my brother-in-law
"I don't even like this game!!" - Ashley (uh-oh...starting to have dramatic outbursts already...)
I finally listen to my voice of reason brother-in-law and we decide it will be okay, so I stay. The team we are playing is ultra-competitive and so is our pitcher. He is playing really aggressively and making them mad...and we are also winning, which is probably making them even more mad. A lot of crap talking is being exchanged. I am super uncomfortable. I try to kick my heart out but I get out over and over again. I wish to the heavens to be born again as an athlete.
My sister still hasn't arrived, so I touch base with my brother-in-law again, and he says she is thinking about going to the hospital just to get the baby checked out. Emotional flare-up....what! She needs us! We have to go to her!! I call her...then text her...finally I get a response that she is going to get checked out later, and is pulling into the parking lot as we speak. All I want to do is give my sweet little nieces some love and assess my sister's emotional state before I get thrown back into the kickball diamond of destruction...as I'm running to the parking lot, my team is headed back to the outfield. I tell them I'll be right back, which is met with, "Get your butt out here right now!!"
Uh oh. Emotional flare-up #9,000.
Fighting back tears (I am a psycho and I know it) I scream as I am running to my fake position in the outfield, "My SISTER was just in a CAR ACCIDENT and she just got here so I was JUST going to CHECK on her and SEE if she was OKAY!!!!!" I think I also said something about being on my period too but that wasn't released with the dragon fury of the rest of the outburst.
Anywayyyyy, when that inning was finally over, my sweet sister had just arrived with her precious babies and they were all fine. I just needed to give them all some love and support, because even though the situation was not that severe, sometimes it just reminds you of how fortunate you are and you just need to let the people you love know how much you care about them. I know that if I was ever rear-ended, pregnant, and with babies in the car, my sister would rush to help in any way she can, but do it in a way that is non-panicky and crazy (I am still working on that). She is just so good like that. And sometimes, just striving to be more like her influences a lot of my actions and reactions.
So back to kickball. We won. Right before we won, I had to pep-talk myself..."Ashley, you're about to win the kickball championship so you better get rid of your bad attitude right meow because you're going to need to celebrate in about 3 seconds..."
And celebrate we did! We drank Coors Light from the Horsetooth Cup trophy. We drank tequila from the Horsetooth Cup trophy. I forgot that I wasn't an athlete and that aggressive/competitive interactions make me highly uncomfortable. We made up with the other team at the league bar afterwards. And it was all good.
Sunday, May 20, 2012
Listen in, folks
Here you have it, my first blog post. I know what you're thinking...get with the program, sister! People have been blogging for YEARS by now!!
Excuse me if you find my writing to be boring, uninteresting, selfishly written, etc. I apologize if I overuse phrases that I think I invented or exaggerate a lot or think that I am way too cool for school. All of these things will happen.
A few weeks ago at church, the speaker began by saying something along the lines of, "I'm just going to talk to myself for about 30 minutes now...you guys are free to listen in, but what I'm about to preach about, I reallllly need to hear. So just listen in." That's pretty much how I am approaching the blog situation. I want to capture these times, these moments, these events, these people, these feelings, these wonderful wonderful days...so, listen in if you'd like as I write to remember, and I write to cherish.
Cheers!
Excuse me if you find my writing to be boring, uninteresting, selfishly written, etc. I apologize if I overuse phrases that I think I invented or exaggerate a lot or think that I am way too cool for school. All of these things will happen.
A few weeks ago at church, the speaker began by saying something along the lines of, "I'm just going to talk to myself for about 30 minutes now...you guys are free to listen in, but what I'm about to preach about, I reallllly need to hear. So just listen in." That's pretty much how I am approaching the blog situation. I want to capture these times, these moments, these events, these people, these feelings, these wonderful wonderful days...so, listen in if you'd like as I write to remember, and I write to cherish.
Cheers!
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