How to grocery shop frugally

Max and I went on our first grocery store trip this week. i thought it would be a super breeze, I would just plop him on the cart like I had seen so many other moms do, and he would hang out while I perused the aisles and accomplished my list. 

Not so much! Apparently sprouts frowns upon having carts that accommodate carseats, and it clearly said, hey don't put your carseat up here like you can with all other carts, suckah!!

So I put his carseat in the main basket part, you know, where you put all your groceries. So with baby in the main basket, where do the goods go?  See exhibit A.

So, I had to stack Maxwell. I tried to avoid piling things on him but towards the end he did have a ginger root and some almonds on his legs. On the plus side, I stayed well within my list, and even said no to a few non-necessities. 

Something about sprouts makes me feel like everything in there is good for you. Chocolate covered peanuts at king soopers? No way! Chocolate covered peanuts at sprouts? Super healthy, I'm sure!!

Exhibit A

Dream report

Last night I dreamt that a random group of people and I were all at a hotel dance, and would be going to a special group lunch afterwards. The hotel dance was super cool. Mike wasn't there, but I danced with a college friend who was such a good dancer he could twirl me in circles, high in the air, without me ever touching the ground. Amazing!

After the dance, it was a bit hectic trying to get everyone to load the bus to head to our group lunch. We arrived to a Mexican food restaurant that was a bit sketchy. We went in through the back entrance and were given a private room to ourselves, even though there was a line of people outside just waiting to get in.

After lunch we went in the backyard of the restaurant, which was a huge lot of sprawling grass. Plenty of room to play games. We were playing one game, but it ended in tragedy. The two participants somehow got stuck on the nearby train tracks and were killed. You would think with such a morbid twist to this dream I would have woken up at this point. Nope. Our only thought was, we probably should switch to a new game...how about kickball!!

Then I finally met up with mike, who didn't look like mike, he was actually a short Hispanic dude. But I knew it was him because he had a camera around his neck like mike does at work sometimes :)

I also had a mini dream where I was wearing a Wyoming Cowboys shirt, and someone passed me on the sidewalk and yelled, Go pokes! 

Pretty insignificant, right? Until max and I were out for a walk today and I saw a neighbors car had a UW sticker on the back. This made me remember that mini dream. 

Does that ever happen to you? Seeing something silly reminds you of a dream you had...almost like your dream knew what your day was going to be like so it catered that nights dreams to it. I'll need to spend some more time on this fascinating wonder. Let me gather some more research. Look for more posts regarding this important topic.

Welp, off to the pool again with my boys! This time, Max will get to "swim" with his sweet Sater cuzzos. Happy weekend!

I'm still a 12 year old

Remember when you were a tween and there was a sleeping baby around and all you wanted to do was wake the baby up so you could play? And the baby's mom always threatened your life if you woke the baby up?

Now that I have my own baby, I find myself still playing the role of the tween and not the threatening mom. Twice this week, I have woken up Mr Max from a marathon sleep. For a few reasons...to make sure he was still alive, and because my boobs might explode if he didn't wake up and eat, and also because I just like to snuggle him!

I had my 6 week appt today and its amazing how I feel today vs how I felt 4 weeks ago. I was in so much pain and was still a bit freaked out by the whole delivery/here is your baby/he is yours forever situation. It's amazing the clarity that time provides. Hoping for this same feeling of relief and confidence after a few weeks back at work. Stay tuned.

Today was hard.

Today was hard.

And it's just the beginning.

Mike, bless his practical heart, brought up logistics about our daily schedule with our nanny.  Like, what time will she start?  When Max is at her house, who will pick him up?  Etc.  I entertained the conversation for about 30 seconds before I just started to cry.  Six weeks ago, the reality of someone else watching my sweet boy seemed so far away.  Now, its getting closer and closer and I can't ignore it anymore.

I buried my head in a pillow on the couch and cried because I couldn't express what it is exactly that makes me the most sad.  Is it the possibility of missing some of Max's adorable "firsts"?  Is it the thought that I'll get back to work and feel like I'm so distracted that I won't be good at my job anymore, and I'll want to just give up, but I can't?  Is it the reality that I feel like I'm going to have to skip back into work with a fake smile and pretend like I'm not dying inside that someone else is spending the day with my little man?  But of all those things, I think it's that my middle child brain expects life to be fair, and because of that, I get so sad/mad that I can't think of one person in my life that is experiencing what I'm experiencing.  I can't think of one mommy-friend who is faced with (or who has conquered) going back to work full time after maternity leave.  And that makes me pissed.

After my couch cry-fest, I took Max to the nursery to change him, and I stood there and stared at him for a minute, just being a cute little stinker on the changing table.  As I started to cry again, he released one of his standard woodpecker farts that lasted for at least 10 seconds, and then smiled this freaking adorable smile, and I couldn't do anything but lay my head next to him and sob.  THIS is what I'm going to miss out on.  His silly little quirks that make him our son.

Perhaps I'm being too dramatic, and hopefully in 6 months I'll look back and think, phewww!  That really wasn't that hard!!  But, I think the scariest part is realizing that once I conquer this separation, a new one will come along.  There will come a day when he heads off to school, and my heart will break all over again.  Then, he'll (hopefully) go to college and Mike will probably have to sedate me so that I will leave Max in his dorm room.  Thennnnn, what if he graduates and wants to live in Hong Kong and  I only see him for Christmas every other year?  So this situation that I'm currently faced with is only the beginning.  And when I realize that, I freak out...what have I gotten my heart into??

4 Weeks

It was four weeks ago that I cried at my midwife appointment after learning my body had made absolutely zero progress in the quest to give birth.  At the advice of my midwife, I went straight to Sprouts and bought raspberry leaf tea and evening primrose oil, with the intention of just "seeing" if they would actually get my body moving in the right direction.  We came back home and I was feeling defeated.  I was feeling anxious, big, annoyed, annoyed at myself for being annoyed, etc.

And then, it HAPPENED.  I remember getting ready for bed that night thinking, "you know, inevitably, one of these nights I could wake up in labor".  I had no idea that TONIGHT was THAT night.

All of a sudden, we're in the car heading to the hospital.  Then, I'm getting admitted.  Then, I'm getting an IV, an epidural, taking weird naps, starting to push, and then, all of a sudden, I'm a mom.  I am holding a baby that I created with the man I love and we are suddenly a family of 3!

The past 4 weeks have been a mash-up of every emotion.  Panic.  I panic that he is so tiny and innocent and what the HECK are we doing???  Worry.  I worry that a secret germ will float into our house and into his nose and make him sick.  I worry that he will experience sadness in his life and I won't be able to fix it.  Love - incredible, heart-wrenching love.  When he is wide awake at 4am and then poops for the 90th time, I just look at him and think - my goodness, I love you so so much.

We are learning new lullabyes to sing to him.  We are perfecting techniques to soothe him with.  We are learning to survive on less sleep than ever imagined.  And when I start to question myself or freak out about going back to work or worry that I'm not doing enough and I'm being too lazy, I just remind myself - just take one day at a time.  I remind myself, you are doing it - you are parenting this little baby and you are following your instincts and if all you do today is snuggle him and feed him and keep his diaper dry, then you have succeeded.  

I love his facial expressions...sometimes he looks so annoyed and like a grumpy old man, and it just cracks me up.  I love his little dracula cry.  I love that his needs are so simple at this point. I love the funny little pictures that Mike has been capturing. Keep it up, Mike!!

So tomorrow, at 1:24pm, he will be one month old.  We probably won't do much other than what we've been doing...snuggle, sleep, eat, poop.  And that's all I want, because if the one thing I hear over and over again from friends/family/strangers, is that it goes SO FAST.  So I'm going to soak him in. And ignore the insurance paperwork that I keep putting off =)