Maxer knows when it's the weekend and we don't have any morning plans because that's when he wakes up multiple times in the night. Usually I wake up to his cries so panicked, so once I sleep-run into his room and realize he isn't being kidnapped or attacked by a pack of dingos, I am more relieved than annoyed at being up. This works out pretty well.
I had a basic realization of a new option tonight. I used to think it was either nurse until he sleeps or lay him down crying. Turns out there is an in-between step: rocking! What a sweet sweet option. I guess he just hasn't allowed it until now, but he didn't want to nurse anymore so he let me rock him to sleep. Simply precious.
So obviously this leads to an emo moment. When do babies stop being so innocent and precious that it hurts? When do you stop being in awe of their existence? I am fresh off watching a video of newborn twins clinging to each other as though they are still in the womb and it was seriously so innocently precious that it hurt my heart. This makes me wonder about when that hurt stops? When do we forget that innocence? Tonight I am hopeful that maybe it never stops?!
I used to see couples out to dinner sitting in complete silence and I would think, oh man that is gonna suck when I run out of things to say to my husband. Later I realized, that doesn't have to happen...it's more based on personality than just something that inevitably happens.
I am encouraged that maybe I will never stop being in awe of max and his existence, or at least it's not inevitable. Sure, there will be days when he is farting all over the house and bringing lizards into the kitchen and talking back to me, but I hope that doesn't make me forget how precious his life is. And even though he barfed all over me last night, he is still my miracle and my joy.
That kid! He always gets me!!!
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