What an awful day for parents and children and anyone who wants to feel like a safe haven still exists somewhere.
So far in my pregnancy, I have been lucky to have virtually no issues, but like most, I do find myself worrying extra and finding the most extreme things to panic about. But, I remind myself that even when you make it through one milestone you were worried about, then its only on to the next. What good does it to do forecast potential problems and spend your day worrying about them...because the most unexpected and tragic things can happen in the most secure of places.
So, for now, I will find comfort in the little safe haven that my body has created, that my sweet little baboon can rest and be sheltered from the world...for now. And when my baby is here, and inevitably something tragic happens again, I will smother that little human with so much love, Mike will have to peel me off of them!!!
Friday, December 14, 2012
Dreams
I guess it is a common thing to have no interest in hearing about people's dreams (as in, night dreams, not hopes and aspirations). I, on the other hand, think dreams are fascinating, and as such, I am constantly telling people, "Last night I dreamt..." and I don't even pause to let them say, "No thank you, this is not a story I'm interested in" because I don't even expect that reaction. I personally think I have the most interesting dreams and that it would be impossible for someone to not want to hear them.
I mean, where do these little mind movies come from?? Why do I keep dreaming about working at Otter Box and why do they have a fox running around with a very strenuous nature trail in their parking lot? The most random people pop into my dreams, and if we were all required by law to tell people when we dreamed about them, I would imagine we would get an email every day saying "I had a dream about you"...wouldn't that be so fun?!
Although, some of my dreams have changed my feelings towards people...like I had a dream that this guy that works in my building was trying to break down my door to attack me, and now every time I see him I'm like, HOLD IT RIGHT THERE MISTER!!!
Anyway, in my quest to make people be more interested in dream sharing, I will now attempt to share more of my dreams on this blog. And I encourage you to do the same! Dreams are crazy! Lets talk about them!!
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| Notice the "Hey, its ok..." near the bottom on the right...WHATEVA! |
Although, some of my dreams have changed my feelings towards people...like I had a dream that this guy that works in my building was trying to break down my door to attack me, and now every time I see him I'm like, HOLD IT RIGHT THERE MISTER!!!
Anyway, in my quest to make people be more interested in dream sharing, I will now attempt to share more of my dreams on this blog. And I encourage you to do the same! Dreams are crazy! Lets talk about them!!
Tuesday, December 11, 2012
Time to spill the beans
For some, this may be old news, but for others, this may be new news. I am pregnant!
I knew exactly when I could take a test, and so you better believe that morning I ripped open the test, peed on the stick, and then took what seemed to be the longest shower of my life. When I got out, I fumbled to put my glasses on and as soon as my eyes could focus, all I saw was PREGNANT. I immediately started to cry =)
I found out on our sweet little Addyson's birthday, so I will always remember the day. I wanted to tell Mike in a cool way, but I couldn't come up with anything and was too anxious to tell him, so I told him when I got home from work. He was like, yeah I heard you crying this morning, and I knew you could take a test today, so I was just waiting for you to tell me. Oh, okay great! Good thing I didn't go through with the airplane banner!
I knew we would tell my sister right away, and my best friend that weekend, but after that, I really enjoyed having a little secret. I realized I wasn't going to be truly alone for the next 9 months, and I felt really motivated to take care of myself and create a comfy living space for this little baboon.
The first few weeks were smooth sailing, then meals stopped being something I enjoyed. While sitting at work, I felt like I was one sneeze away from barfing in my trash can. I ate smoothies and crackers and cottage cheese. I liked the feeling that something was happening, but I didn't enjoy feeling like a zombie...going to bed at 7pm, not doing anything productive, etc. One night I freaked out and was like, THIS IS ANNOYING! I WANT TO BE A HUMAN AGAIN!! Mike was out of town and I was in bed, naturally, and I had just read on one of my pregnancy apps that "good news, only 6 more weeks of this!" That was 6 weeks too many for this mama!!
But then, as quick as a cat, my first trimester ended (on Election Day, of course!) and all of the sudden, I felt great!
We continued to keep it a secret, mainly because it was fun, but I also was not interested in sharing the news with my office, and was also not that into announcing it on Facebook. After a few doctors visits we started to tell more peeps. But, now its getting to the point where if I don't start telling people, in a few months when I start showing up places with an infant, they will think I stole it.
So now, comes the fun stuff!
Looking pregnant. (thank goodness for my pregnancy experts Britt and Jocelyn for giving me all of their maternity clothes!)
Acting pregnant. (should I cry today because my dad and brother can't come to my attempted gender reveal party? Sure! This obviously means they don't care!!!)
Buying baby stuff. (I think Mike has visited every baby website that exists to find the best deals on diapers and wipes. What a bargain shopper!)
Making myself fill out a pregnancy journal. (Sometimes silly, but I know I'll be glad I did!)
Finding out the gender! (December 18!!)
Halfway point! (Christmas Day!)
Due May 14 (the same day Mike and I had our first date 2 years ago!), Baby A!
I knew exactly when I could take a test, and so you better believe that morning I ripped open the test, peed on the stick, and then took what seemed to be the longest shower of my life. When I got out, I fumbled to put my glasses on and as soon as my eyes could focus, all I saw was PREGNANT. I immediately started to cry =)
I found out on our sweet little Addyson's birthday, so I will always remember the day. I wanted to tell Mike in a cool way, but I couldn't come up with anything and was too anxious to tell him, so I told him when I got home from work. He was like, yeah I heard you crying this morning, and I knew you could take a test today, so I was just waiting for you to tell me. Oh, okay great! Good thing I didn't go through with the airplane banner!
I knew we would tell my sister right away, and my best friend that weekend, but after that, I really enjoyed having a little secret. I realized I wasn't going to be truly alone for the next 9 months, and I felt really motivated to take care of myself and create a comfy living space for this little baboon.
The first few weeks were smooth sailing, then meals stopped being something I enjoyed. While sitting at work, I felt like I was one sneeze away from barfing in my trash can. I ate smoothies and crackers and cottage cheese. I liked the feeling that something was happening, but I didn't enjoy feeling like a zombie...going to bed at 7pm, not doing anything productive, etc. One night I freaked out and was like, THIS IS ANNOYING! I WANT TO BE A HUMAN AGAIN!! Mike was out of town and I was in bed, naturally, and I had just read on one of my pregnancy apps that "good news, only 6 more weeks of this!" That was 6 weeks too many for this mama!!
But then, as quick as a cat, my first trimester ended (on Election Day, of course!) and all of the sudden, I felt great!
We continued to keep it a secret, mainly because it was fun, but I also was not interested in sharing the news with my office, and was also not that into announcing it on Facebook. After a few doctors visits we started to tell more peeps. But, now its getting to the point where if I don't start telling people, in a few months when I start showing up places with an infant, they will think I stole it.
So now, comes the fun stuff!
Looking pregnant. (thank goodness for my pregnancy experts Britt and Jocelyn for giving me all of their maternity clothes!)
Acting pregnant. (should I cry today because my dad and brother can't come to my attempted gender reveal party? Sure! This obviously means they don't care!!!)
Buying baby stuff. (I think Mike has visited every baby website that exists to find the best deals on diapers and wipes. What a bargain shopper!)
Making myself fill out a pregnancy journal. (Sometimes silly, but I know I'll be glad I did!)
Finding out the gender! (December 18!!)
Halfway point! (Christmas Day!)
Due May 14 (the same day Mike and I had our first date 2 years ago!), Baby A!
Sunday, December 9, 2012
Nail polish and restless thoughts
Yesterday I watched the girlies while Adam and Britt did some Christmas shopping. I really wanted to paint the girls' nails with festive sparkles so I brought over all my goods. They are so eager for their nails to be dry that we have to get creative with ways to sit still. This time I had them watch a timer on my phone and told them when they heard the dog bark alarm at the end, it was time...time to start the countdown again. I thought we were in the clear but I didn't expect Brynn to dig into her laughing cow cheese immediately after we were finished so as she was sucking cheese off of her finger she also ate her nail polish. I guess only re-doing one nail on a 2 year old isn't so bad!
Lots of transition happening in our life and the lives around us. It's making me restless and reexamine every little thing about me. Silly things like...Do I give good Christmas gifts? Is my house organized? Do I live functionally or do I just pretend to?? Bigger things like... Am i keeping in touch with friends as best as i can? Is my character strong enough to set good, lasting examples for the little babes in my life?? So I tried to make a good Christmas gift list and then ignored the rest for now.
In the coming weeks, a lot of things will be decided for our little family. I am anxious but excited. And I love going to sleep at night knowing that there is already a plan, we just have to trust in it. Stay tuned!
Lots of transition happening in our life and the lives around us. It's making me restless and reexamine every little thing about me. Silly things like...Do I give good Christmas gifts? Is my house organized? Do I live functionally or do I just pretend to?? Bigger things like... Am i keeping in touch with friends as best as i can? Is my character strong enough to set good, lasting examples for the little babes in my life?? So I tried to make a good Christmas gift list and then ignored the rest for now.
In the coming weeks, a lot of things will be decided for our little family. I am anxious but excited. And I love going to sleep at night knowing that there is already a plan, we just have to trust in it. Stay tuned!
Wednesday, November 21, 2012
Baking Day
I was lucky enough to get Thanksgiving week off of work, and so I knew that I wanted to spend one of my free days baking a pie. A Dutch apple pie, to be exact! We bought apples from the farmers market last week while waiting for our table at Snooze, and I was slowly getting all the supplies I needed to make this delicious treat.
My cousin Nasime got a last minute flight to come for Thanksgiving, so while my sister was picking her up from the airport, I thought I was being super prepared and packed all my pie goods to take to her house for our baking day. i stopped at King Soopers for Britt's supplies, got some coffee, and I was really feeling like a hybrid of Martha and Giada all rolled into one.
I passed a horse pasture and caught a glimpse of the back of a horse wearing a coat, but for some reason it looked like someone had dressed up a scary figure and placed it in the pasture to scare people. I had just read some thing on pinterest about how to scare the hotel maids by making figurines out of towels, so I automatically thought, oh thats not weird to have a scary figure in a pasture, but then realized that people generally don't try to scare you during Thanksgiving, and no...its not scary, its just a horse with a jacket on. Moving on.
Then, the second I pulled into her neighborhood, somehow my mind realized I had left the pie dough I had so carefully prepared last night at my house. Come ON! So I unloaded all my gunk and told myself I would be back in 10 minutes. That's a lie. I have to lie to myself sometimes.
I called my mom on the way and after hanging up with her, I was just driving right along when I realized I had missed my exit. What the heck!! I do not live in a big city by any means. Traffic was not an issue. I wasn't talking on the phone. I just missed it. Now, something I realized today was that if you miss the Mountain Vista exit, the next exit is in SEVEN MILES. In Wellington. That's practically WYOMING. So I turned on my iPod and settled in for the road trip. Once I turned around, I speedraced back to my exit, and as soon as I was on Mountain Vista, there it was....a TRAIN. A freaking train. I blew half a tank of gas to speed up to beat it, but those dang arms came down (much too soon, in my opinion...I could have beat that train fair and square) and stopped me. Now this was a quick train, thank the good Lord. Otherwise I would have had dragon fire coming out of my mouth.
Anyhow, I got the dough. I baked that dang pie. And we had a super time doing it. I will be using that pie pan again...and maybe some new decorative crust tools that my grandma gave me? Look out, Christmas!!
My cousin Nasime got a last minute flight to come for Thanksgiving, so while my sister was picking her up from the airport, I thought I was being super prepared and packed all my pie goods to take to her house for our baking day. i stopped at King Soopers for Britt's supplies, got some coffee, and I was really feeling like a hybrid of Martha and Giada all rolled into one.
I passed a horse pasture and caught a glimpse of the back of a horse wearing a coat, but for some reason it looked like someone had dressed up a scary figure and placed it in the pasture to scare people. I had just read some thing on pinterest about how to scare the hotel maids by making figurines out of towels, so I automatically thought, oh thats not weird to have a scary figure in a pasture, but then realized that people generally don't try to scare you during Thanksgiving, and no...its not scary, its just a horse with a jacket on. Moving on.
Then, the second I pulled into her neighborhood, somehow my mind realized I had left the pie dough I had so carefully prepared last night at my house. Come ON! So I unloaded all my gunk and told myself I would be back in 10 minutes. That's a lie. I have to lie to myself sometimes.
I called my mom on the way and after hanging up with her, I was just driving right along when I realized I had missed my exit. What the heck!! I do not live in a big city by any means. Traffic was not an issue. I wasn't talking on the phone. I just missed it. Now, something I realized today was that if you miss the Mountain Vista exit, the next exit is in SEVEN MILES. In Wellington. That's practically WYOMING. So I turned on my iPod and settled in for the road trip. Once I turned around, I speedraced back to my exit, and as soon as I was on Mountain Vista, there it was....a TRAIN. A freaking train. I blew half a tank of gas to speed up to beat it, but those dang arms came down (much too soon, in my opinion...I could have beat that train fair and square) and stopped me. Now this was a quick train, thank the good Lord. Otherwise I would have had dragon fire coming out of my mouth.
Anyhow, I got the dough. I baked that dang pie. And we had a super time doing it. I will be using that pie pan again...and maybe some new decorative crust tools that my grandma gave me? Look out, Christmas!!
Friday, November 16, 2012
Beer at work and other important news
How to feel like you are drinking a delicious porter at work:
Get a cup of black coffee
Let it cool
Take a sip and hold it in your mouth for a second
(this part is crucial) Tell yourself, "This porter is kind of strong but soooo good!"
(bonus step) Hold your breath for as long as possible and you will feel like you have a (short) buzz
That is how you feel like you are drinking beer at work. It's so easy!!!
In other news, I only washed my hair once this week, and I believe it was a successful venture as no one has asked me if I am homeless. I already high-fived myself, practically every morning, so you can hang on to your high-five. Who's cool!
Looking forward to a Saturday of sleeping in, a Sunday of cornhole at Pateros Creek, and then a holiday week where I hope to bake my very first Dutch Apple pie and learn to knit a cowl scarf. If that doesn't sound cozy then I don't know what does!!
Get a cup of black coffee
Let it cool
Take a sip and hold it in your mouth for a second
(this part is crucial) Tell yourself, "This porter is kind of strong but soooo good!"
(bonus step) Hold your breath for as long as possible and you will feel like you have a (short) buzz
That is how you feel like you are drinking beer at work. It's so easy!!!
In other news, I only washed my hair once this week, and I believe it was a successful venture as no one has asked me if I am homeless. I already high-fived myself, practically every morning, so you can hang on to your high-five. Who's cool!
Looking forward to a Saturday of sleeping in, a Sunday of cornhole at Pateros Creek, and then a holiday week where I hope to bake my very first Dutch Apple pie and learn to knit a cowl scarf. If that doesn't sound cozy then I don't know what does!!
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
How do I post on this thing again??
I have neglected this little blog ... I wish I had all the creative motivation and all the time in the world, and I would spend my days sipping americanos in a dim room, listening to folky music and blogging about all of my incredible opinions and such.
Turns out, with all this election hoopla, I really have a tough time forming an opinion about hard core things...I hope thats okay. Mike says that later in life when I become a Republican (jigga whaaaa?) that I will have some opinions like his...but I don't see that day ever coming =) I guess I just don't like to debate things and I just like to let people think what they want to think, then let them change their mind if they want. I'd rather spend my time cuddling all these new babies that have entered our world and watching football on Sundays and scouring Pinterest as if I'll actually ever do any of those incredibly crafty things.
This weekend, we celebrated a year of true wedded bliss. Even though we got "public" married in April, we got "legally" married last year on 11/11/11 (who's cool!) right before we moved in together (and by moved in together I mean lived in a place together where there was space other than my bookshelf for Mike's clothes and other random necessities). It was a super secret for a while, but now its kind of fun to say, we've been married a year! He sent me some lovely roses at work (that will never get old) and then we went to Jay's on Saturday night for a feast of all feasts. Mike really does know how to dine out and I sure do enjoy that about him. Wine for each course. Soups and salads. Dessert. Sub "this" for "that" cause "this" sounds better. We originally had reservations for 7pm, but then it was snowy and he remembered that I have the bedtime of a geriatric so we moved it up to 6pm...and we were in bed watching Netflix by 8:30! Now thats what I call an anniversary.
Now that I'm back to being bored at work, I think I'll have more time to collect my thoughts and blog more. Remember Ashley, remember why you started blogging in the first place...to REMEMBER!
Peace out.
Turns out, with all this election hoopla, I really have a tough time forming an opinion about hard core things...I hope thats okay. Mike says that later in life when I become a Republican (jigga whaaaa?) that I will have some opinions like his...but I don't see that day ever coming =) I guess I just don't like to debate things and I just like to let people think what they want to think, then let them change their mind if they want. I'd rather spend my time cuddling all these new babies that have entered our world and watching football on Sundays and scouring Pinterest as if I'll actually ever do any of those incredibly crafty things.
This weekend, we celebrated a year of true wedded bliss. Even though we got "public" married in April, we got "legally" married last year on 11/11/11 (who's cool!) right before we moved in together (and by moved in together I mean lived in a place together where there was space other than my bookshelf for Mike's clothes and other random necessities). It was a super secret for a while, but now its kind of fun to say, we've been married a year! He sent me some lovely roses at work (that will never get old) and then we went to Jay's on Saturday night for a feast of all feasts. Mike really does know how to dine out and I sure do enjoy that about him. Wine for each course. Soups and salads. Dessert. Sub "this" for "that" cause "this" sounds better. We originally had reservations for 7pm, but then it was snowy and he remembered that I have the bedtime of a geriatric so we moved it up to 6pm...and we were in bed watching Netflix by 8:30! Now thats what I call an anniversary.
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| I love shopping for cards for him cause they all make me cry and I have to hide my tears in the middle of the store. Good times. |
Now that I'm back to being bored at work, I think I'll have more time to collect my thoughts and blog more. Remember Ashley, remember why you started blogging in the first place...to REMEMBER!
Peace out.
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