Working Moms, Inc.

I've always dreamed of being a stay-at-home-mom.  I think its a combination of the fact that I didn't study to be a doctor or scientist or whatever, mixed with my feelings that the most important job you can do is raise your children.  As I get closer to May, my reality sets in that at this point, its not financially feasible for me to stay at home full-time.  We are comfortable, but with Mike being technically self-employed, we rely on my job for health insurance.  I can't even begin to reason with myself that a little bit of smart budgeting would allow me to stay home.  Its. Just. Not. Possible.  So as I deal with this reality, I know that I need to start to find encouragement through other working moms, and focus less on the stay-at-home moms that I find myself surrounded by (blogs, family, friends...you lucky, lucky ladies!!!!)

This afternoon, I did a search for "working mom blogs".  I've done this before, but the results were bo-ring, and today, it was more of the same.  No cutesy stories, no silliness.  The blogs I have found are almost all written in defense-mode, and from a point of exhaustion.  These working moms feel attacked and criticized for working, and they seem to be constantly saying, I CHOOSE this life and even though I am run ragged and never have enough time, I'm satisfied.  Well, no one says what I am thinking - I don't actually WANT to work.  I HAVE to work.  And I am already so aware of how painful it will be those first few months.  While I am so incredibly grateful for my job and I really do enjoy it, if given the choice, you best believe I would choose to be employed by Baby A, Inc.

I want to travel back in time and throw a tantrum to the women who fought to be in the workplace.  Sure, women can be corporate superstars and they absolutely should share their talents in that capacity.  But me?  I don't feel that drive or that calling.  I don't feel like I am compromising myself or my rights as a human if I stay at home and oh, I don't know, RAISE A HUMAN BEING.  I think that is a pretty significant role, and it seems that the importance of a parent's job is often overlooked and undermined when compared to the importance of corporate success.

So, I'll keep throwing my little tantrum in my mind and pray for the day I can raise my children for a living.  Until then, if you see a working mom, don't assume she is in that role because her career is that captivating.  She might just be a slave to the paycheck.

Oh and when you meet that woman, tell her I am looking for her and her funky blog.