The Haps

Whats been going on lately!  Just a whole lot of life and sore body syndrome.  I don't quite remember when it started, but I find myself wanting to hobble around like a grandpa lately.  When I get up from my desk at work, I have to take a second to compose myself before walking into the hallway.  Getting out of bed in the morning first requires a grunt, then a roll, then the final dismount. I also find myself frequently checking my reflection for waddling.  I try so hard be diligent in placing one foot directly in front of the other, instead of one foot next to the other.  I believe this is where the penguin waddle sneaks in, and I won't have it!!!!  I am also determined to not let my pregnancy affect my work, (I have a pretty hard-core, "Independent Woman" boss) so I find myself trying extra hard to not let it be known that my pubic bone hurts and my lower back aches and my inner thighs feel like I ran a marathon (wait...do I even know what that feels like??) and not to mention sometimes the thought of getting my very own human in a few weeks gives me rapid heartbeat.  No no, these feelings and thoughts will not be shared within the workplace!

Last night, after a tasty dinner at Fired Up (owned by a fellow UW grad, makes deliciously wood-fired treats like brussel sprouts, pizza, chicken wings, etc!) we went to Target to get our sweet Brynnie a birthday present, and to get all the other random necessities that get added to "The List" throughout the week.  Dryer sheets!  Hangers!  Vitamins!  I LOVE TARGET!  I don't normally take Mike with me when I grocery shop or browse the aisles at Target, mainly because I like to have a plan and stick to it, and I get stressed when I feel like people are waiting on me, and then I make unthoughtful decisions.  Either way, Mike was in charge of the cart, and I kept trying to ditch him so I could get little things for his Easter basket. I was able to ditch him so successfully that I had to call him to locate him.  When we finally found each other, he's like...uhhh, have you seen our cart?  MIIIIIIKE!!!  Apparently the last thing he did was throw a kit kat into the cart, and then all of the sudden he looked into our cart and all he saw was Tostitos chips...NOT the one hundred items I had already added.  We looked up and down all the aisles, and finally we found our abandoned cart full of our precious items in the middle of the aisle across the store.  Apparently someone had cart swapped with Mike and when they realized what they had done, they ditched the cart and ran.  Phew.

This weekend we'll head back to FoCo to love on the Sater girlies, in particular, birthday girl Brynn!  I'm also getting a prenatal massage, which I'm hoping is the cure-all for my achy body.  Kickball starts next week, in which I will play the role of Team Babysitter.  Most of you will recall that this is the role I perform best in.  So in between staring at the calendar to see how long until my due date (how many weeks? how many days? how many week days? how many work days? how many more Tuesdays?, etc) we have been keeping ourselves busy.  Here are some fun pics...

Look at all these baby shower treats!  Such a fun day.
Makes me feel so good to think of all the love that Maxwell is being born into!

Demetri Martin and I.  After some good LOL's at his show, we bought his book of hilarious
illustrations for Maxwell.  Still pondering what birthday is appropriate to give it to him =)
(simply precious side note: Demetri's other book was what I bought for Mike's birthday, a week after we started dating)

Birthday lunch for Juan Wheeler.
(photo courtesy of pregnant, non-shot taker, Ashley Atkinson)

I just love this one.  Sweetness in the front, chugging mama in the back.

What's in my brain - Thursday edition

I have noticed that being visibly pregnant encourages strangers to be extra kind to me.  Ladies in the movie theater chat me up, old men linger to hold the door, stuffy security guards lighten up to ask me if I am smuggling a watermelon (badump ching!), etc.  I am normally very awkward about small talk with strangers, so this has been a great way to always have a go-to topic if there is nothing else to say but conversation must be prolonged.  So, if anyone else is looking to temporarily cure awkwardness, just get pregnant!

Every time my sister posts pictures of her darling girls on Instagram, I just stare at them...and think about how I love them so much it hurts.  I'm anticipating the love I will feel for our little guy will be similar, but I'm not sure I can handle it if its anything more...how can a little face grab your heart so fiercely?!

My sister and I had a conversation yesterday about the decision to add child life insurance to our plan, and it makes me so sick to think about that I don't even want to recall our conversation, but I love hearing my sister's practical yet touching thoughts regarding her girls.  I am so glad she became a mom first, because I learn so much from her!

Then if I really want to keep riding the emo train, I'll put on any jam from Adele's album "21" and drift back to when Mike and I first met, and we listened to that cd over and over again in my teensy little basement apartment while we drank wine and talked and talked and talked.  Such good mems.

Welp, I better stop there otherwise I'll have to go into the bathroom and cry.  Is it lunchtime yet?

Messages to little Ash

I wish I could go back to the 9 year old me that sewed a plaid skirt in 4-H and say, "Psst...someday, you'll wish you could sew.  Learn this craft NOW and foster it and love it, because it could lead you to great success!"  If the 9 year old me didn't get the memo, I'd share it again with the 16 year old me who made attempted a pink button-down shirt in Home Ec.

I wish I could go back to the little Ashley who would get so frustrated with piano lessons that she would sit at the piano in tears.  I wish I could tell her to practice, practice, practice, and stay with it, because someday there will be pianos left untouched, and she'll wish she could sit down and play the afternoon away.

I totally get now why parents force us to do things.  You guys, in some instances, they actually DO know best!!  I'd probably mention that to little Ashley too, but she'd probably be too busy plucking her eyebrows to care.  Ah, adolescence.

Please, no more Harlem Shake

At the risk of sounding like a geriatric...Please, I beg you.  No more Harlem Shake.  For the last couple of weeks, I've heard about it and seen different groups doing it, so finally I watched a couple videos.  I feel like I am missing something.  What IS the Harlem Shake besides a bunch of people shaking their bodies, some in costumes.  Is that it?!?  Am I not noticing something ultra cool that is secretly happening in the background?

This morning I was just trying to enjoy a leisurely bowl of Honey Nut Cheerios and watch some Today Show before work, but they had to cloud their broadcast by including a story about some college kids organizing a Harlem Shake on an airplane.  They showed a preview of the video and it made me cringe.  They showed the 3 kids they were about to interview regarding the shenanigans, and they looked so proud of themselves, I cringed even harder and changed the channel AQAP.  As quickly as possible.

Then, I got to work, and one of my co-workers mentioned how she thinks our office should get on the Harlem Shake train somehow.  I was like, are you IN MY BRAIN??  Absolutely NOT.

I know, I know...just by talking about this "art", it has already accomplished its goal, even though I hate it and I don't get it.  But please, can it just go away already??

And now, in the spirit of Tri Delta's pro-con-con-pro process, I will end on a pro:

Things I am looking forward to:
SPRING!!! (warmer weather, iced coffees, bright colors, gardening plans, turning off the heat...the list goes on and on!!)
The time change!  Its practically here, already!!
New kickball team (I am the team babysitter...probably for the best...)
Pedicures this weekend
About time for the Clique Baby Boom to start (cue Marsh, then Jen, then Me, then Sam, then Julie!!)

Happy Friday all!

Working Moms, Inc.

I've always dreamed of being a stay-at-home-mom.  I think its a combination of the fact that I didn't study to be a doctor or scientist or whatever, mixed with my feelings that the most important job you can do is raise your children.  As I get closer to May, my reality sets in that at this point, its not financially feasible for me to stay at home full-time.  We are comfortable, but with Mike being technically self-employed, we rely on my job for health insurance.  I can't even begin to reason with myself that a little bit of smart budgeting would allow me to stay home.  Its. Just. Not. Possible.  So as I deal with this reality, I know that I need to start to find encouragement through other working moms, and focus less on the stay-at-home moms that I find myself surrounded by (blogs, family, friends...you lucky, lucky ladies!!!!)

This afternoon, I did a search for "working mom blogs".  I've done this before, but the results were bo-ring, and today, it was more of the same.  No cutesy stories, no silliness.  The blogs I have found are almost all written in defense-mode, and from a point of exhaustion.  These working moms feel attacked and criticized for working, and they seem to be constantly saying, I CHOOSE this life and even though I am run ragged and never have enough time, I'm satisfied.  Well, no one says what I am thinking - I don't actually WANT to work.  I HAVE to work.  And I am already so aware of how painful it will be those first few months.  While I am so incredibly grateful for my job and I really do enjoy it, if given the choice, you best believe I would choose to be employed by Baby A, Inc.

I want to travel back in time and throw a tantrum to the women who fought to be in the workplace.  Sure, women can be corporate superstars and they absolutely should share their talents in that capacity.  But me?  I don't feel that drive or that calling.  I don't feel like I am compromising myself or my rights as a human if I stay at home and oh, I don't know, RAISE A HUMAN BEING.  I think that is a pretty significant role, and it seems that the importance of a parent's job is often overlooked and undermined when compared to the importance of corporate success.

So, I'll keep throwing my little tantrum in my mind and pray for the day I can raise my children for a living.  Until then, if you see a working mom, don't assume she is in that role because her career is that captivating.  She might just be a slave to the paycheck.

Oh and when you meet that woman, tell her I am looking for her and her funky blog.

Noises

As you know I have been diagnosed with a very serious condition known as "misophonia".

I can picture myself in the hospital about to give birth, and in my worst nightmare, I have a nurse who is chewing gum or clearing her throat incessantly, and I will have to kick her out because she is ruining the miracle I am about to perform.

So, not only does this condition affect my personal life (ever had a tantrum on public transportation while on family vacation because all of your family is chomping on their gum like their lives depend on it??), but it severely affects my work life.  Inevitably, in an office environment, there is going to be at least one perpetrator who is a noisemaker and, it will get me...get me good.

Every time I have left a job, literally one of my first triumphant thoughts has been, "THANK GOD.  No more listening to <insert name> <insert annoying noise>."

My last job had lots of annoying noises...one of them being a date stamper that clunked every minute.  Literally, every minute.  I moved it to a back conference room out of severe anger one day, but it always threatened to creep back into my life.  There was also the woman who sat near me who, without fail, would chomp chomp chomp her gum after lunch every day.  Then of course the other woman who made every food a noisy monster.  Peanuts.  Burritos.  Chips.  You name it, you could hear every morsel being destroyed in her mouth.  When I gave my 2 weeks notice, I breathed a sigh of relief.  No more of THOSE noises.

My last, last job had two women in particular who cracked their gum.  And it wasn't just like, oh I had garlic for lunch so I better chew some gum for a second.  Nope.  This was an all-day affair, gum from 8am til 5pm.  That was almost enough to make me throw myself in front of a train.  When I accepted a new job, my very first thought was, see ya later gum crackers!!!

Now, I'm in a new job.  It started good, as they all do.  But, inevitably, a noisemaker has emerged.  Looks like my only hope is ear drum removal or intense therapy.  I'll let you know which route I go.

I ate sopapillas twice this weekend and I'm not sad about that

February starts the steady stream of family birthdays that carries on until the summer.  Coordinating to get everyone together to celebrate can be tricky, but so far it has worked out pretty easily.  We planned to have lunch with my mom for her and Tyson's birthday, then dinner at my dad's for Britt and Tyson (again) birthday.  Tyson called me at 7am on Saturday morning with one request: "Casa Bonita".  I love Mexican food of all kinds, and I'm not scared of Casa Bonita food, so of course I was interested in revisiting this magical place.  Mike and I laughed when we thought about how long it had been since we had both been there (the last time he was there, Tyson wasn't even born yet).  We also talked about how you think its this amazing place when you're little, with nooks and crannys and caves and so much to explore...then when you go again as an adult, you realize its a creepy building in a strip mall that you wouldn't want to be in when a fire started (they really try to manage the flow of people: Get in line to order here.  Walk this way to sit. Up these stairs and around the bend to the arcade.  Where is the exit?!?!)

Soon after talking to Tyson, my mom texts me..."Where should we go for birthday lunch...Capital Grille?  Ale House?  Four Season?"  I laughed so hard.  She was going to be pretty sad when she realized we would be eating velveeta cheese and cheap sopapillas for lunch.

A few enchiladas, sopapillas, and gorilla/diver shows later, we headed up to birthday celebration #2 (also a mexican food feast...don't mind if I do!) and decided to swing by Babies R Us to register.  Registering for gifts feels like a chore.  I know we need things, but how do you choose?  So you need a hooded towel...well here are 6 different hooded towels, all with weird patterns and characters on them, each a teensy bit different.  It stresses me out.  Mike was in charge of the registry gun and he really went to town.  Especially towards the end, I think he may have gunned a few preemie outfits with ridiculous sayings on them out of delirium.   The list of things we still need to pick out is growing by the day, and I think I am going to accept the challenge of making the curtains because I just can't find what I want.  Either way, if our little guy was to arrive tomorrow, I'm sure we'd be fine.  All you need is love, right?  RIGHT??

Tomorrow starts my 3rd trimester!  Pretty sure the honeymoon of being comfortable and carefree ends meow.  Bring it on, baby boy!!!